Navigating the Parenting Labyrinth

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'Do you feel dominated by your mother?'

It is 9 PM on a school night. I peep into Sid’s room where peace and quiet has reigned beyond safety limits.

A quiet room with both my children inside it is the perfect recipe for disaster.

Disaster this time is a room that had transformed itself into a kabadiwala’s (junk dealer) warehouse with my distressed-looking son in its midst. Little Princess is creating another piece of art that should perfect the warehouse look.

“My Hindi project that has to be submitted tomorrow is missing,” he manages between tears.

When my phone had gone missing, I had spent the morning combing every corner of our home. The husband and Sid had managed to track it down to my handbag using iCloud.

It is a pity that iCloud will not help him track his project that had been painstakingly completed but misplaced due to his disorganized ways.

“You can start over. NOW.,” I say in my wagging-finger firm tone.

“But I remember keeping it with the Five-Star in the clear folder,” he explains.

“You have 12 hours left. Start over. Now. Now. Now,” I repeat like a broken tape recorder.

His tear-stained, sleepy eyes tug at my heart strings but this will be his lesson in organizing his ways.

Studies have shown that nagging mothers raise successful children and my son will gladly agree than I will be stiff competition for my Indian counterparts in the ‘nagging’ category.

The mention of Five-Star gets Little Princesses attention.

“I want Five Star. Now,” she concludes.

“A Five Star after your teeth have been brushed clean can turn creepy crawly germs into party animals that will spend the night feasting and digging wells in them,” I explain in my sweetest tone.

Nagging variations are improvised based on the situation, mood, age and place of occurrence.

“I want….,” she cries as I sense the beginning of a tantrum.

“Lets go find teddy and put you both to sleep,” I conclude firm on my decision as she seems to be on hers.

As authoritative parents who are willing to understand and reason with our children while firmly adhering to positive reinforcement and discipline, ‘No’ is a word in our parental dictionary that we sometimes use without actually saying the word.

 

Sid brandishes his marked and completed Hindi project the next evening.

“I did it better the second time,” he rejoices.

As of now, I know I have rented a space in his head with my firm tone and wagging-finger Mommy look for at least the next few weeks until he gets back to his disorganized ways.

“Self help is the best help,”,” I explain as he makes a hasty exit sparing himself the self-help lecture that I wish to impart.

I make a mental note to learn the use of iCloud in tracing my phone that does disappearing acts when I need it the most or my son will team up with the husband and I might find myself at the receiving end of the self-help lecture!

 

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50 responses »

  1. 😂😂😂😂 I lost it at “tracked it down to my handbag” that’s my mom right there😂😂😛😛 moms and their authoritative, nagging and sugar coated orders!! I get annoyed when my mom does that and moms do that a lot, a looot! And I know I’ll have to turn into one someday and I know my kids would be getting irritating/hating me for that but just like getting vaccines, this would be something that has to be done for their greater good.
    Enjoyed every word, thank you for bringing weekly dose of humour to my Sundays, my lovely friend❤
    Btw, I want a Five Star too, Now!!!!😂😂

    Liked by 3 people

    • Haha! TW, it is a pleasure to catch you here. Ism even looking forward to that. First, Five Star is a new introduction here and luckily for me, my children love it as much I I did and still do😃.
      As for being the nagging Mommy, I promised myself I would never be one whenever I have experienced it from my mother but of course I am one too, so I will just believe that it is for the greater good. But the husband and I always balance it out. It is all about balancing I guess. Well.. I am learning in the process too!
      May be I should go get that Five Star too, Now!

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hahahahaha yessss I had Twix last night, may be grab that too?😝 Just a suggestion our foodie heart.😂 Yes I think balancing is the key even here. It’s always a pleasure talking to you too my dear dear friend 😄😄

        Liked by 2 people

  2. Enjoyed reading the article. During our times it was the fear of belt or the kitchen spatula that brought discipline. Today when I look back I can understand the why that noble effort of that dark side went it. A dark face of that hour would bring a bright light in future – The Butterfly effect. 😊

    Liked by 2 people

  3. I disagree with the term ‘nagging’ you used here. This is exactly the way kids ought to be parented. firmly, and with appropriate use of the word ‘NO'(in capital letters. Recently, I happened to view a video clip on whats app, where a guy tells what modern-day parents ought to give their children is a liberal dose of Vitamin N(N for NO)!. go ahead, you’re doing it right. you cannot do it better.

    Liked by 3 people

  4. An article every mother can relate to P😀. It took me back in time during my days as a young mother. I used to be quite a nag and disciplinarian. But over the years have realized that while certain amount of discipling is required it is the nagging which irritates the children . Now I am more a friend than Mom and there are many things that I am learning from them 🙂

    Liked by 3 people

    • As authoritative parents taking a more friendly yet firm parenting technique from the do-not-question strict and disciplined authoritarian parenting, I suppose we need to choose what best is suited for our children based on the stage they are in. As you have rightly pointed out, we need to ensure that our children trust us to share their worries, frustrations and joys with us along with never shying from being able to correct them along the way.

      Liked by 2 people

  5. Yes, pranitha, I can relate to this. I get a call everyday from my daughter when she’s packing her bag,. Mom help me find this book or that paper…
    But she’s never seemed to learn to be organized 🤔🤔
    Discipline maybe different for different families…I guess for each family the terms and conditions of discipline applies..
    Five stars for your post, pranitha 👍

    Liked by 4 people

    • Thank you, Deepika😍 yes, we all follow and use techniques of discipline that we think suits us and our children. Appearing firm when my heart is melting is tough but sometimes I have to reinforce that not every thing in life comes easy. I am glad he has learnt his lesson…. at least for now🙄

      Liked by 1 person

  6. Your articles are like a breath of fresh air! Like a pick- me- up! Who needs caffeine when your words can result in much more magic?:)
    The little brother , when he was much more little has torn into 10 or more pillows out of sheer curiosity to check what was hidden inside. I’m sure my mom had the same fear. Silence in the room= some kind of disaster😂
    Also , our mom still nags us, she deems it necessary, and I’ve begun to understand why along the way.

    Liked by 3 people

    • My God, Divya. I will not need coffee for a whole week, you have warmed my heart with your words.
      Silence is dangerous. I can take noise but silence means that I need to abandon or put on hold all the important jobs at hand and get busy with the disaster or disasters that await me.
      I know your mother will gladely agree! I can imagine what she must have felt when she witnessed your brother’s curiosity.
      When Mother nagged me, I found it ridiculous but now I think nagging is healthy (though I must confess that I hate the word)

      Liked by 2 people

  7. Aha five-star choco sounds like a good reward but sometimes saying No can help a child a lot. Ya, I do use icloud very rarely on the iPad and planning for the iPhone next years. So, let’s see. Enjoyed the titbit with the kids.

    Liked by 2 people

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