Have you developed your partner’s scowl?


"According to this article, couples that have lived together for a long time end up looking alike."

Some of us can pick up a book and magnetically escape into the mesmerising world created by the author while there are others who can pick up the same book and be lulled into sweet slumber in under five minutes.

And then these people end up marrying one another.

Science explains that opposites attract.


Luckily, the matrimonial rollercoaster on its railroad to an exhilarating ride with unexpected tight turns, inversions and stomach-churning slopes possesses the power to transform two individuals locked in love to tweak their personalities in order to sustain two worlds under the same roof.

Even Bollywood has never dared to cross over the threshold of life past the happy and dramatic union of the hero and the heroine’s love conquering all odds amid music, drama and dancing about trees in designer wear into the monotony of a real life where sustaining marriage and children amid boring routines becomes the norm.


Could that be the reason why research shows that the longer you are with your partner, the more you begin to resemble one another?

Or is it that thrown under the same roof, sharing similar experiences, food and thoughts day after day — you end up emulating your partner’s frown.

Coming to think of it, I now enjoy watching movies as much as the husband has learned to pick up a book. I am less sceptical about trying a new restaurant while I believe practice has forced him to pretend that he has not noticed the ‘charring’ of the dish that I have called ‘a little over-cooked’ or ‘caramelised’.

It is good that even though we share routines, children and a home, we hold on to a little mind of our own and speak it out too. For, we even disagree on the same topics!

But there are some traits that even matrimony or years of togetherness cannot change.

Like a question, “How was your trip?” that would have lasted a good fortnight, can elicit nothing more than a clipped “Good”. A little coaxing and fretting (read whining, moaning and grumbling) can manage just about a full sentence or two.

While a question in return about my days in his absence can bring about an animated and elaborate explanation about every morsel that my hands have painfully cooked, every individual that I have met, every speck of dust that has been wiped clean and every job that has been successfully accomplished with nothing more than just about a nod in return.

Or the fact that he can sit for hours basking in the glow of the screen before him and manage to efficiently toggle between three jobs with relative ease, but conveniently overlook the painstaking effort that has gone into transforming the chaotic mess amid juggling between two children with varied interests — one intent on gobbling up books while the other determined on wrecking every room with her creative mess, into a beautiful home.

But coming to think of it, I would be worried if he were to bring out the entire cupboard on display every time he makes a trip matching every shirt and pant checking which goes with what for hours at end like I am often known to do.

Or if he decided to rant on about his trip covering every detail leaving me too exhausted to talk about mine.

Or if his meticulous eyes do not miss that inconspicuous blemish or crease in a freshly pressed dress when I seek his honest opinion just like how brutally honest I am known to become when he seeks mine.

Then the both of us would be locked in a marriage of boring similarities and develop the same worry lines until one day someone will take pity on us and exclaim, “Oh! How much you resemble each another.”


This is an article that was published in the Off the Cuff section of the Gulf News. Click here to view original post.

Happy Morning, my dear friends! All you happily 😉 married couples out there. Let me know what you think.

Have a wonderful Sunday!



21 responses »

    • I am smiling now. 🙂 Thank you, Radhika. Yes! It sure would be long stretching hours of dull yes and boring smiles. Differences make the times of togetherness worthwhile. Lots of love to your too, my dear friend. (please count in a heart here, my laptop does not support emojis)

      Liked by 1 person

  1. Interesting post on how couples cope with each other or raise a coup every now and then to keep it going…but yes the point they resemble in their mannerisms and even their looks is well taken considering the numerous elderly couples we have come across in life. Good post Pranitha that keeps you thinking as to how well one has played his or her role in togetherness…

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Absolutely stunning write up on marriage and such lovely caricatures, Pranitha. They say marriages are made in heaven and some of them rightly prove so and enjoy bliss together but sometimes they do not work, but all said and done that is life. Very nice and interesting post.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. wonderful post. Put me thinking to check similarities but must say that we are still opposite in many ways which I do like. Rightly said opposites attract, so i believe that it does become important to have the balances in relationship, though having differences. I also believe that one must not expect to change the other partner but understand the situation and just dwell into it for that moment, which will make it a smooth journey for both. Being an introvert, I started loving the company of extroverts more than introverts in the growing years as they help me realize how the world looks on the other side.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Ravi. So glad you gave it some thought and is in agreement too.
      Absolutely! Once the relationship is established, a little change comes in, a gentle tweak of personality that happens even without your knowledge, just to fit in. But that apart being opposites, like you have rightly stated, helps see the other’s perspective and a little thought can give you a better insight into different situations.


  4. Aha, lovely take on the topic of marriage..A little difference of opinion, in the spouse is what makes the marriage tick, else what do you talk and argue about, it’s the perfect space for varying emotions to show up..brings up the right balance, I suppose, otherwise would lead to a problem of being married all the time :)with no spice in life.
    As always, a lovely and enjoyable read !!

    Liked by 1 person

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