Picture Perfect

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There are two kinds of people in this world. The first are those who can strike the perfect pose and get the perfect picture every time– the best of them are gracing the silver screen while the rest are on Instagram.

Then there are the second kind – people like me – who, let’s just say, are photogenically challenged.

Simply put, I am a photographer’s nightmare!

The photographer atop the Titlis who boasted of her years of experience in the field as her assistant helped me with the Swiss costume, struggled with her patience than with her camera as every picture either turned out with my eyes half closed or fully closed – as if I were in a trance or smiling asleep.

The result of her efforts (and the husband’s patience) now adorns the wall beside our dining table and has often become an interesting distraction for our  guests especially when the my culinary experiments have gone a bit wrong.

A friend, who is an Insta-star, explains that the secret of a perfect picture is to crane your neck enough to give an illusion that the subcutaneous fat that is jingling around it has momentarily ceased to exist and the source of light is towards you. Hands on hip, shoulders angled, one leg forward extended forward, tummy sucked in and smile. (or pout)

This must be a work in progress for up until now most of my pictures have had me either squinting at the source of light with an elaborate display of dentition or have eyes popping out from sucking my tummy in.

Or just maybe I am yet to find a good photographer – one with more patience than skill.

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43 responses »

  1. I agree there are a lot of challenges involved while posing in front of a professional photographer; by the time you have made all the corrections he or she has suggested, one feels like a disjointed specimen..

    Liked by 2 people

    • Cheers to that my dear friend. I have, like you, tried to take this issue into my own hands (literally) and the results have been disastrous so I have trashed as many as I have clicked. Thank you, Divya.

      Like

  2. Hahahahahaahahah! Are you my twin?!
    Through out the post I had been constantly losing it, laughing out loud!
    I swear my friend, if you ever meet me in person and compare my actual face with that of my pictures,you’d go like are these two same? I’m get so ugly pictures of mine. I’m into photography, angles and edited, so I have somehow started to get some poses that would give a good capture, like this dp! And yes you do need a photographer who is patient enough, I get conscious so that adds further to the woes. Ugh. I hate my pictures being taken while I love to capture!
    You are so amazing with expressions, how good are you seriously. No one could have described that better, eyes popping out from sucking in the air😂😂😂and the typical hand on waist picture! Hahahaha!
    Enjoyed every bit. Have a great Sunday my friend. ♥️♥️

    Liked by 2 people

    • My dear, TW, reading your response, I am laughing too and guess what I am very happy knowing well that it is evil to be happy of the shortcomings of others as much as they are yours. In this pic you seem confident. I have one such pic – one in a couple of years perhaps. One in which my eyes are open, tummy sucked in, shoulders perfect and the perfect smile – but it is a rare occurrence – as rare as that Super Moon I suppose. I had waited long enough to change the DP in my FB page, waiting for the right pic. Finally, I am using one that has made it to an okay.
      Thank you, my dear. I look forward to reading your thoughts. You too have a great day, my dear.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Hahahaha as rare as super moon. And yes I do totally understand your fixation with a particular picture which somehow seems close to how we actually look😂 and there are people who look exceedingly gorgeous through lenses, not going to lie, have envyied some of them😂
        Thank you for your kind words especially because I get very uncomfortable whenever I’m on the other side of the camera (I’m sure you understand my woes!)
        Same here my dear friend. Take care and here’s wishing us tons of celeb level dps😂

        Like

  3. Ha ha..I look forward to your posts every week for they bring along a smile week after week..
    I too have such memories hidden in my album (from old times)which I would rather not share with anyone. These days such pics go to trash directly..😂😂

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you so very much, Radhika. If you catch yourself smiling, my job is accomplished.
      I suppose with the pre-digital cameras, we took more care so as to not waste film. Now with the discard and try again digital camera, we can go on a clicking spree until we get what we wish.

      Liked by 1 person

      • Very true Pranitha..so much care used to go into getting a click with a perfect smile and no closed eyes..I somehow miss those moments and the fun associated with it…
        Thank you for your lovely post…
        And btw, it’s Deepika not Radhika :))

        Like

      • Hey Deepika….oops that was me rattling off without putting in the wrong name. My apologies for that.
        Yes, I miss them too. The joy of getting those printed pics is worthy of the wait.
        Thank you so much for your feedback, Deepika. Good day!

        Like

    • Hey Faree! Oh, it is a nightmare for me. I had to take a pic for my visa and the poor guy had to click and click and click until he got one with my eyes open. Poor guy! So that is a new find : Photographers need skill and patience. Or is it an old one 😉

      Like

  4. Yes, posing for a picture is really an embarrassing experience for me as well, I always used to wonder how actors & models are doing the same effortlessly ! Now I am happy that I am not alone in this world to be in such situations !!
    By the way enjoyed reading your post, just cant stop laughing while reading this post ! 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  5. The only one to capture my essence well is my muse & lovely neighbour, Huguette…when she takes a good picture, I run right out and make numerous copies to send out (they are a miracle of light and angles!). Your post made me smile…

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Ha ha…I have the problem of closing my eyes and slouching. But now that you’ve pointed out, I’ve probably not found the right photographer. I have another problem and that’s smiling☺. If the photographer makes the mistake of taking a little too long, then I just cannot be graceful enough to keep my smile. It’s all a rather tedious effort. And yet I try.☺. Love the sucking in part😀

    Liked by 1 person

    • This sucking up your tummy is a natural reaction I think. We all do it but never say it.
      With this post, I have understood and have more reason to believe that I am not odd, that posing is as difficult as it is to keep you r eyes open. I read in a book recently that while walking the red carpet most of these hot-shot celebrities are trained to keep their eyes open.
      May be I will need to keep aside some time for that exercise too!

      Liked by 1 person

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