Apr23

Dearest Microwave,

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Happy 50th birthday!

I sincerely apologize that it took me more than a year of your arrival into my kitchen to thaw my paranoid mind to tapping into your efficiency and speed. But ever since I have dared to try my hand at baking, your convectional abilities have empowered me to surprise family and friends with my baking fantasies, but I wonder if the latest wheat, rye and oat cake has something to do with family members and friends doing disappearing acts from their homes when I plan to surprise them.

Last week when my cooking range failed me, I cannot thank you enough for standing by me. That morning I discovered that your radiating warmth is enough to cook up a breakfast of fluffy rice cakes and cups of hot tea under ten minutes. You are forgiven for altering the molecular structure of food in the heating process, as for a generation of humans like us who are thriving on chemically-treated vegetables and fruits, hormone-addled poultry and meat, hyper processed salty snacks – a few changes at the molecular level means nothing at all.

When President Donald Trump’s smartest advisers, Ms. Kellyanne Conway, raised concerns about microwaves spying on us, I made sure that I dressed up (at least gave up faded nightdresses that has seen better days) and sang English songs while I eyed you ( the dishwasher and the food processor) suspiciously. But the husband reassured me that no one would dare spy on our kitchen (through the microwave at least) as they would be risking their lives to ‘yeast’ poisoning and that my efforts in singing will cause them to give up spying altogether.

On your special year, I wish you more power to fill the hungry stomachs of busy women, lazy men and smart children across the world with your radiating warmth. Just in case you also spy, I also hope that your owner has the voice of a golden hen.

Yours Sincerely,

Owner

PS: I sincerely hope that no Greeting Card Giants get to read this post for that could result in ‘Microwaves Day’. This addition to the calendar might cause the companies to unanimously elect Kellyanne Conway as their brand ambassador for the ‘Microwave’ line of greeting cards! 

 

45 responses »

  2. celebrate as you may with your microwave. But please leave that innocent husband of your’s alone . blame him not. After all, wasn’t he your good old pressure cooker, that must-have instrument, born eons before microwaves did as one among your kitchen armamentarium which releases pressurized steam that builds up within you from time to time?

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      • Ohh ippo madichi aaya enikk pani aayi. Idakk idakk bake cheyyan demand varum. 😂😂 Even though I love baking, laziness causes a starting trouble. 😀 I loved reading the post. Excellent dedication! 🙂

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      • Athey.. same here. Eppozhum supermarketileku poogumbol I see cakes and think ‘ enthinaa meedikyane njan undaakaa ennu’ but it has been a few months nothing has happened 🙄Thank you Shweta, feedback from friends is always a pleasure, a motivation that someone is looking forward to reading and with like- minded friends like you, I am absolutely lucky.
        Appol class thidazhiyo?

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      • Thank you so much…visit by other bloggers and a word of appreciation is always motivating, which I find is lacking here…
        Many bloggers do not reciprocate.
        BTW, no new ‘friends’ yet; will post one by evening 🙂 🙂

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      • I totally agree…if it writing a poem or prose or if it clicking, editing and writing facts about your picture is no easy task and some feedback from readers and friends is a boost to keep you going.
        You are fantastic, Indira! Keep the pictures coming, I love to watch them and read your fact file. Specially loved the sunsets, it was beautiful.
        Will check ur space in the evening then!

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  7. Humor in truth. And a good belly laugh. If you have a flatscreen TV manufactured in the last few years, buy a few more lovely house dresses. Chips are inserted in these televisions to monitor households now. Even our cell phones and Google know most of the goings on in our lives.

    But, in defense of what seems like paranoia; we are living in a very different era. Our enemies live on our shores and have been for years. I do not want another 9/11. I don’t want another school tragedy or a mall blown up.

    New microwaves do have chips inside of them. So, although, buyer beware; it is for our protection as absurd as it seems.

    Thoughtful, well-put, humorous post. I am going to reblog this.

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  8. On another note: My friend who is an engineer told me that microwaves are safe. (He lives a busy life as well). Genetically modified food causes all types of diseases. It’s a shame there is not a healthier way for busy people to eat well these days. Although, back in the day, before food labeling, heaven knows what the heck we ate. 🙂

    Oh, I also heard our laptops spy on us! 💻 📲

    I reread your post, laughed again, and would be the first to buy your book (should you decide to write one)! Your brain level on the Richter scale must blow it up. No joke. I am most thankful for your posts. Happy Sunday. Wishing you a week of peacefulness. 🌻

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    • Dear Nancy, I am more than humbled reading your feedback. Thank you for making my day and many more days to come for words of encouragement from an author and poet gives me more zeal and commitment to pursue what I love most.
      iIt is reassuring to know that the microwave is safe for it is one I use often enough to warm up leftovers and try my baking fantasies. There are a lot of constructing material in the web. Talking of the web, Google knows us better than our spouses ( As explained in my post I See You).
      As for the spying, I will take your advice and invest in some good dresses that will come in handy as I mop the home and wage a war in the kitchen. I am wondering if I must take singing lessons too🤔
      Wishing you a Happy Monday Nancy! Thank you for the re blog too! And as for the book, I need to take inspiration from you and write one too.

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  14. Humourous and witty, throughly enjoyed reading this one P. Actually I am always waiting to read your posts, don’t know how I missed this one. If they soon start a day called microwave day, we know who should get the credit for it 😉😉😀

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  15. Hahahaha! Omg! You’re so awesome, so very awesome. The part where you talk about singing English songs while eyeing your microwave while you gave up on gowns that “have seen better days” made me laugh so hard.
    I loved this post, so so much! Funny, creative and I had no idea how would you mould it towards the end, perhaps surprise ending are another reason I love your work❤

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