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Picture Perfect

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There are two kinds of people in this world. The first are those who can strike the perfect pose and get the perfect picture every time– the best of them are gracing the silver screen while the rest are on Instagram.

Then there are the second kind – people like me – who, let’s just say, are photogenically challenged.

Simply put, I am a photographer’s nightmare!

The photographer atop the Titlis who boasted of her years of experience in the field as her assistant helped me with the Swiss costume, struggled with her patience than with her camera as every picture either turned out with my eyes half closed or fully closed – as if I were in a trance or smiling asleep.

The result of her efforts (and the husband’s patience) now adorns the wall beside our dining table and has often become an interesting distraction for our  guests especially when the my culinary experiments have gone a bit wrong.

A friend, who is an Insta-star, explains that the secret of a perfect picture is to crane your neck enough to give an illusion that the subcutaneous fat that is jingling around it has momentarily ceased to exist and the source of light is towards you. Hands on hip, shoulders angled, one leg forward extended forward, tummy sucked in and smile. (or pout)

This must be a work in progress for up until now most of my pictures have had me either squinting at the source of light with an elaborate display of dentition or have eyes popping out from sucking my tummy in.

Or just maybe I am yet to find a good photographer – one with more patience than skill.