Knots and Vows



“Why did you not have a wedding reception?” the young man asked us, tongue-in-cheek.

This question, which was purposefully  intended to get an upper hand in the conversation, was about our wedding reception that was replaced with a family gathering and a traditional ‘sadhya’ sans the DJ night, dance or the grandeur, solemnized more than a decade ago.

It had been a time when a traditional ‘Malayalee’ wedding entirely comprised of a simple ritual of tying the knot and exchanging garlands before a crowd of women, decked up in their heaviest silks and every piece of jewelry that they owned, catching up on gossip and men discussing politics – all of whom comprised of relatives and friends.

We realized that the appointed beautician must have learnt and refined her skills making up Kathakali artists for everyone unanimously agreed that I looked like an overdone Christmas tree; however, the photographer was pleased for I shone bright as a tube light in high voltage with little effort from his side.

We stood clumsily balancing the weight of heavy garlands smiling, posing  for pictures and trying hard to decipher the endless stream of faces who claimed to be related to one of us.

Our parents solely shouldered the responsibility of playing the graceful hosts ensuring that every one of the guests was well watered, fed and taken care of.

We took the leap with no instruction manual or GPS that guaranteed the safest and best path through married life, but just our parents’ blessings and love and respect for one another.

All the advancements has not brought forth a detailed instruction manual for the newly wed but Wedding Planners have managed to lure couples and their families into a week’s ceremony – DJs, outdoor photo shoots and all.

Over-enthusiastic parents and bags of money are a sure help to make beautifully-crafted everlasting memories that can be frozen and framed on the walls of your home and social media pages.

So, as our young man smiled his cheekiest best – a sparkle of triumph in his eyes, we smiled too for our experience teaches us that not all questions need to be answered. Sometimes it is best to let the other person bask in the shadow of their empty triumphs and check how far we have come.


sadhya : Traditional South Indian feast served on a banana leaf.

Kathakali: a form of dramatic dance of southern India, based on Hindu literature and characterized by masks, stylized costume and make-up, and frequent use of mime.

30 responses »

  1. ha! spot-on! loved your blog.Loud music, photographs that make up heavy albums, videos, which cause intrusions by those overzealous radiographers at the most inopportune times, DJs and loud music or dance DO NOT contribute to a successful marriage. it’s give and take during day-to-day living, chipped in with mutual respect and understanding that do, my dear!

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Gm P! I love simple weddings, may be I belong to the old school 😉During our times weddings were simple affairs sans all the loud music and DJ.
    Pranitha, I look forward to Sunday mornings specially to read your wonderful posts. As always your flawless writing makes it a pleasure reading them❤️

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thank you, Radhika. Your words make me smile. I suppose these words of motivation keeps me inspired.
      Yes, I agree, I am old school too, if old school means simple weddings. The hype, extravagance and money that goes into wedding these days, even South Indian weddings, has amazes me.
      Either ways, the life afterward is no DJs song.


  3. I felt you were quiet lenient with the sarcasm here Pranitha 😉 While we, as Indians, have always been susceptible to extravagance at weddings, this overindulgence has now reached dizzy heights. I have attended more weddings where competitive splurges and ostentatious displays of jewellery and gifts appear to have been the primary objectives of the week-long gatherings and the sacred union of two human beings is but a detail.

    This disturbing trend is really the symptom of a larger problem — unbridled consumerism and shallow, materialistic aspirations sweeping across the country. These weddings has morphed itself into something between a lit circus performance and Sooraj Bharjatya’s wet dream and there’s nothing to do, but enter this wonderworld and throw yourself into it because the wedding may be fake as hell, but the FOMO is real.

    Liked by 2 people

    • Yes, I thought so too, Neal 😉
      I did not do justice to the circus that has become of what was once termed ‘marriage’ , but I am glad that you have done that bit for me.
      “These weddings has morphed itself into something between a lit circus performance and Sooraj Bharjatya’s wet dream ” This one is hilarious, Neal, and so so true.
      But what would you post on your social media page if the glitz , glamour, a zillion selfies with another three million professionally-edited pictures and the hundred counters dedicated to every type of food that an Indian can or cannot eat is missing from what was actually just your wedding?


  4. I loved the way you presented this. Serious stuff presented with a dose of humour. 😁 That’s what I love about your writing! Valare sathyam aa. Ippo weddings okke commercialized aayi poyi. Some people consider it to be a platform for blatant display of wealth and social status. 😐 Marriages are not just about the couple anymore…

    Liked by 1 person

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